This Blog Has Moved

As the title says, this blog has been moved. It's now located on Tumblr under the name The G Files. In addition to that, it's no longer just a book review blog and instead is a general review blog that includes reviews for movies, web series, television shows, cartoons, manga, and anime along with books.

I will be moving the reviews already on this blog over there. Once they are all switched over, I will put an update on this post to let anyone know who is still following this blog and wants to wait until it's all switched over to check out the other.

Update: All reviews on this site have now been moved to the Tumblr site.

I Am Not a Serial Killer by Dan Wells

Right from the beginning we know that the main character, John Wayne Cleaver, is perhaps not quite a normal teenage boy. He is very interested in death and seems to no longer associate humanity with corpses. His mother and aunt run a mortuary out of their home (although the aunt, Margaret, lives elsewhere) and John has been helping with the embalming since he was a very much younger boy.

His mother and aunt don't approve of his fascination with death, his irreverence of corpses as once having been living and breathing human beings, and often lecture him about his interest in serial killers.

"You're really a smart kid," said Margaret, "and I mean that. You're probably the only student that's already finished with the essay. But you can't...it's not normal, John. I was really hoping you'd grow out of this obsession with murderers."
"Not murderers," I said, "serial killers."
"That's the difference between you and the rest of the world, John. We don't see a difference." She went back inside to start work on the body cavity---sucking out all the bile and poison until the body was purified and clean.

This is sort of a running theme throughout the book with his family. It's a little more subtle from his sister, but his whole family is worried about what they see as unnatural behavior. I'm sure that they mean well, but the constant nagging has got to wear on John. His feelings about the nagging itself don't really get a huge role in this book, and I really thought that they should have. It has to be annoying and disheartening to know that every time you try to do anything, your family is there to tell you that it isn't normal and you have to stop it. But, the author gets around this by making it plain that this is just how John's life is and always has been and he is used to it now and as long as it doesn't get to the point where it actually interferes with what he wants to be doing, he can more or less roll with it pretty easily.

At this point, it's probably good to mention that John is also a sociopath. He's too young for a formal diagnosis, but his psychiatrist went ahead and diagnosed him with antisocial personality disorder. Which is just a nice way of saying that John is a sociopath.

"'Happy' is not having a son who has to follow rules to keep himself from killing people," she shot back. "'Happy' is not a psychologist telling me that my son is a sociopath. 'Happy' is---"
"He said I was a sociopath?" That was kind of cool. I'd always suspected, but it was nice to have an official diagnosis.
"Antisocial personality disorder," she said, her voice rising. "I looked it up. It's a psychosis." She turned away. "My son's a psychotic."
"APD is primarily defined as a lack of empathy," I said. I'd looked it up, too, a few months ago. Empathy is what allows people to interpret emotion, the same way ears interpret sound; without it you become emotionally deaf. "It means I don't connect emotionally with other people. I wondered if he was going to pick that one."

It's very clear that his mother doesn't quite understand what being diagnosed with this means. She seems to think that she can change him by forcing him to change his behavior (keeping him out of the mortuary and away from the dead bodies) or just telling him to act like a normal person (chase girls, make friends, be sociable) or simply telling him to stop being a sociopath.

I understand that she probably doesn't want her child to be a sociopath or in any way abnormal to the rest of society to such an extent, especially since sociopaths are only in the news for doing terrible, nasty things to other people. But, she seems to be taking leave of reality here. You can't just tell people to stop being who or what they are and expect it to work. Reality doesn't work that way, no matter how hard you try to make it work that way.

Generally, telling your kids that you are ashamed of them and that they are not normal isn't a great parenting tactic.

Also, while we're at it let's lament the trope of the overbearing single mother making an appearance here in the book. It's overused when there's a male as the main character, especially young males. Abusive father, wishy-washy mother. Absent father, overbearing mother. Both parents dead. These are tropes that generally always make it in when there's a male character as the main character.

However, I think that in this case I can look past it because it seems to be serving a purpose other than being a trope or being in some way misogynistic. Instead of working like that, what I think Wells is doing is setting up the character's background to be classic for a sociopathic personality. Most of the time when we look into the backgrounds of high profile sociopaths, it's practically textbook that they've got an absent father and an overbearing mother (or a present father who is so henpecked he may as well not be there).

This doesn't mean that overbearing mothers and absent fathers cause sociopathy, but most readers are going to be familiar only with high profile serial killers and terrorists who have been said to be sociopaths and he wants this background to be familiar for them. To set it up to show that this boy is a sociopath in a way that is simple and easily (and quickly) understood. To keep it in mind, but move past it enough to let the rest of the story progress the way it will.

There are other ways to do that, but I can forgive it because I think it was an attempt at some simplicity. Then again, just because I can forgive it doesn't mean that other readers will. This is a YA book and perhaps not the time to use simplicity if it goes along with a misogynistic stereotype. Giving young girls or young boys this view of women is not a great idea.

Also, let's be clear here: I'm not calling Dan Wells a misogynist. I'm just pointing out that this view of women screwing up their sons by being overbearing whenever a strong father figure isn't around to stop that from happening is overused and misogynistic. I'm willing to bet that he didn't even stop to think of it like that, and if he had he may have changed it a bit. That's an ingrained societal problem.

Now, let's get back to the rules that were mentioned. John has made up rules for himself as he's gone along, ever since he's realized he isn't quite normal, in order to keep himself from doing something wrong or bad. He doesn't want to hurt anyone and he's taken proactive steps to make sure that he does not. That his sociopathy doesn't get too out of hand. I think that this alone is fascinating, but he also gives some examples of those rules.

He likes to watch people, but he makes certain that if he catches himself watching someone for too long that he forces himself to ignore that person for a week and not think about them. He stays away from animals, won't even accept the idea of a pet around the house or pet someone else's. If he's being bothered by someone to the point that he's getting angry or thinking of hurting them, he gives them a compliment and smiles at them to force himself to think good thoughts and to stop himself from doing anything bad.

This is fascinating to me, because I don't think I've ever heard of anyone doing something like this before. He's very intelligent, which is not abnormal in sociopathic people, and has been making rules since he was eight-years-old when he first realized he wasn't like other people. Instead of ignoring this, because it was upsetting think he wasn't normal or worrying that he would get into trouble so just hoping it would go away on it's own, he began to take proactive steps to stop it from getting worse. And, every time he notices a new or different tendency or trait that is not normal, he will make a new rule.

He sees this as taking responsibility for who and what he is, the fact that he is the type of person that could grow up to be dangerous and that he is already exhibiting a lot of the tendencies and traits that show up in the types of sociopaths that do commit heinous crimes. Like those serial killers he's so fascinated with. In fact, I think that's why he's so fascinated with serial killers and the information out about them. He wants to find out what he has in common with them in order to stop himself from becoming like them. But, also they're kind of cool to learn about anyway, and I think even non-sociopathic people would say the same. Otherwise, we wouldn't be so fascinated with them ourselves and there wouldn't be so many people interested in getting their hands on books about Charles Manson, the Zodiac Killer, the Green River Killer, etc.

Something else about John...is that he thinks that fate wants him to become a serial killer. Not only was he born without empathy, making him -- as he put it -- emotionally deaf, but he seems to be surrounded by personal reminders of serial killers.

"I say 'fate,'" I explained, "because this goes way beyond some simple behavioral quirks. There are some aspects of my life that I can't control, and they can only be explained by fate."
"Such as?"
"I'm named after a serial killer," I said. "John Wayne Gacy killed thirty-three people in Chicago and buried most of them int he crawl space under his house."
"Your parents didn't name you after John Wayne Gacy," said Neblin. "Believe it or not, I specifically asked your mom about it."
"You did?"
"I'm smarter than I look," he said. "But you need to remember that one coincidental link to a serial killer is not a destiny."
"My dad's name is Sam," I said. "That makes me the Son of Sam---a serial killer in New York who said his dog told him to kill."
"So you have coincidental links to two serial killers," he said. "That's a little odd, I admit, but I'm still not seeing a cosmic conspiracy against you."
"My last name is 'Cleaver,'" I said. "How many people do you know that are named after two serial killers and a murder weapon?"

I'm not sure if this is also a trait he should've been looking out for, but I find this sort of thinking to be delusional. I'm not sure if he's just hoping that some of this is out of his control, that there is someone or something working his life and the circumstances around it to make him into something he doesn't want to be. Something or someone he must fight against, to give him a goal and reason to defy his "fate" rather than just simply trying to conform to societal norms and mores. Also, I must take into account that he is just a fifteen-year-old boy. Children and teenagers are prone to delusional thoughts and illusions of grandeur just because of their age and the way that their brains are not yet finished developing. Plus, this time of his life is going to be filled with hormonal issues, as well. Hormones can effect brain chemistry and the way that you think and see the world in general. Which must be difficult seeing as he is already struggling with this other huge issue of the brain, a lack of empathy and (perhaps) conscience.

Because, let's not forget that knowing that you are doing something wrong and taking steps to stop that behavior is not necessarily the same thing as understanding WHY what you are doing is wrong and feeling bad about that.

Frankly, despite the fact that being able to talk to Dr. Neblin helps him and he recognizes that (he has no one else he can talk to about serial killers or other things he likes or dislikes), I'm surprised he even continues to speak to his doctor. I'm surprised he goes there without being prompted directly after school on the days he has to, and I'm surprised he does more than sit there and stare at the floor or the desk or out the window.

However, despite these issues (and in some instances because of them) it's a good read! It actually is very interesting and the process by which John goes about figuring out who the monster is and how to defeat him (and his social problems within his school and community thrown in for good measure) makes this a book that is very easy to get into, it's very easy to read, and I think anyone would enjoy it regardless of gender or age.

Stephen King's It

Stephen King's It is about the essence and personafication of evil in the form of whatever scares you the most -- this It prefers to take the shape of a clown and calls Itself either Pennywise the Dancing Clown or Robert "Bob" Gray. This entity was here long before people were in existance anywhere. In the 1950s a group of children, six boys and one girl, came to know and understand this entity for what It was as much as any human being can and set out to destroy It. They thought they were successful...but then It came back. And, in the 1980s they found themselves right back in their hometown of Derry, Maine where they had to battle this monstrosity again.

In this book, more than any other by him that I've read, he flirts with the subject of homosexuality. This was actually a theme that went throughout the book both in negative and positive ways. In the very beginning of the book one of the first new murder victims was a gay man who was in a loving and committed relationship with another man. The relationship seemed quite healthy and not at all abnormal. Many of the characters throughout in the 50s were worried about homosexuals, especially being accidentally mistaken for one, so he definitely touches on the prejudice, using anti-gay explitives quite often. There was also an odd bond between the characters Richie Tozier and Eddie Kaspbrak.

In the beginning of the book there are two gay characters, one of which becomes a victim of a violent hate crime and then of It as well. I like the way that King describes their struggle just to fit in and have a normal life. I like the way that these two were pretty much opposite in the way that they saw the world. One was a perpetual optimist (he died), and the other was more of a realist (he survived). I liked how prejudice was displayed, in its nitty gritty, rude and vile true colors. There was nothing sympathetic about it, there was nothing right about it. There was no, "well you know, if the gay guy had just...walked away..." scapegoating. It showed pack mentality at its worst. And, above all, King did a great job of describing just how much the two men had loved each other and had meant to one another and that their love was genuine and real. Just as real as any heterosexual relationship. And he did all of this without even making them main characters, or having them last in the book aside from later references past the first few chapters. That's fucking talent (too bad he couldn't apply that talent to adding a few strong women).

Excerpt from Part 1, chapter 2, page 26:

That summer, Haggarty told Harold Gardener and Jeff Reeves, was the happiest summer of his life--he shuld have been on the lookout, he said; he should have known that God only puts a rug under guys like him in order to jerk it out from under their feet.

Excerpt from Part 1, chapter 2, page 28:

Another match revealed STICK NAILS IN EYES OF ALL FAGOTS (FOR GOD)!
"Whoever writes these little homilies has got a case of the deep-down crazies. I'd feel better if I thought it was just one person, one isolated sickie, but..." Don swept his arm vaguely down the length of the Kissing Bridge. "There's a lot of this stuff...and I just don't think one person did it all. That's why I want to leave Derry, Ade. Too many places and too many people seem to have the deep-down crazies."
"Well, wait until I finish my novel, okay? Please? October, I promise, no later. The air's better here."
"He didn't know it was the water he was going to have to watch out for," Don Haggarty said bitterly.

!!!SPOILER ALERT!!! If you have not read this book and do not want major character death spoilers then do not read this next bit.

In the end, when Eddie dies and after they've finally defeated It, Richie tries to carry Eddie out, aided at first by Ben. This part is set in the 1980s when they are adults. This takes place deep under the ground of Derry, Maine. In the sewer systems. That is where It's lair is and always has been. So, that's where they had to go the first time and the last time (this time) to battle it. But, they've already got Bill's wife Audra to get out of the sewers where It had mind-fucked someone into bringing her as a way of weakening the group's leader, and she happens to be catatonic (literally). They were already two members short. One of the members, upon finding out It was back, committed suicide to avoid having to come back to Derry and battle It again. Another was injured by another mind-fucked human and had to go to the hospital and was still recovering and had been unable to make it. Now Eddie's dead, and two of the remaining men had to carry a woman who was still alive but in a coma of some sort due to having seen the true version of It (this is all really complicated to explain, so forgive me if its confusing) called the Dead Lights. Somehow this is both where It truly resides and also the true form of It. Don't ask me how, it just is.

That leaves Bill and Ben to carry the still-alive woman (because Bill is not all there right now, anyway), and Richie to carry Eddie all alone through the complicated sewer system. Why Beverly couldn't help him, I don't know. She was just useless throughout this part as she was throughout the rest of it, really. So, once they got just outside of the lair, they do something that I found horrible. They told Richie...to just put Eddie down and leave him there. In the dark and the cold. Among the stagnant sewer water and the bones and half-rotted corpses of past victims.

Excerpt from Part 5, chapter 23, page 1054:

"Put him down," Beverly said. "He can stay here."
"It's too dark," Richie sobbed. "You know..it's too dark. Eds...he..."
"No, it's okay," Ben said. "Maybe this is where he's supposed to be. I think maybe it is."
They put him down, and Richie kissed Eddie's cheek. Then he looked blindly up at Ben. "You sure?"
"Yeah. Come on, Richie."
Richie got up and turned toward the door. "Fuck you, Bitch!" he cried suddenly, and kicked the door shut with his foot. It made a solid chukking sound as it closed and latched.
"Why'd you do that?" Beverly asked.
"I don't know," Richie said, but he knew well enough. He looked back over his shoulder just as the match Beverly was holding went out.

Richie, at first, refuses. But, they convince him. That, and the fact that he probably couldn't carry him out on his own anyway, I think. And, someone opens their mouth and opines that this is probably where Eddie was meant to be anyway (but, ladies, this is bullshit. If you have read this book, you know how Eddie was, and you know that is the VERY FUCKING LAST place he'd want to be left under ANY circumstances. Especially since he pretty much saved their fucking lives and that's why he was dead).

Excerpt from Part 5, chapter 22, page 1023:

The Spider's head turned toward the sound, Its eyes momentarily leaving Richie's.
"Here!" Eddie howled in his fading voice. "Here, have some of this!"
He leaped at It, triggering the aspirator at the same time, and for an instant all his childhood belief in the medicine came back to him, the childhood medicine that could solve everything, that could make him feel better when the bigger boys roughed him up or when he was knocked over in the rush to get through the doors when school let out or when he had to sit on the edge of the Tracker Brothers' vacant lot, out of the game because his mother wouldn't allow him to play baseball. It was good, strong medicine, and as he leaped into the Spider's face, smelling Its foul yellow stench, feeling himself overwhelmed by Its single-minded fury and determination to wipe them all out, he triggered the aspirator into one of Its ruby eyes.

He felt-heared Its scream--no rage this time, only pain, a horrid screaming agony. He saw the mist of droplets turn white where they landed, saw them sink in as a splash of carbolic acid would sink in; he saw Its huge eye begin to flatten out like a bloody egg-yolk and run in a ghastly stream of living blood and ichor and maggoty pus.
"Come home now, Bill!" he screamed with the last of his voice, and then he struck It, he felt Its noisome heat baking into him; he felt a terrible wet warmth and realized that his good arm had slipped into the Spider's mouth.

He triggered the aspirator again, shooting the stuff right down Its throat this time, right down Its rotten evil stinking gullet, and there was sudden, flashing pain, as clean as the drop of a heavy knife, as Its jaws closed and ripped his arm off at the shoulder.

Excerpt from Part 5, chapter 22, page 1024:

He looked up at Beverly and saw she was crying, the tears coursing down her dirty cheeks as she got an arm under him; he became aware that she had taken off her blouse and was trying to staunch the flow of blood, and that she was screaming for help. Then he looked at Richie and licked his lips. Fading, fading back. Becoming clearer and clearer, emptying out, all of the impurities flowing out of him so he could become clear, so that the light could flow through, and if he had had time enough he could have preached on this, he could have sermonized: Not bad, he would begin. This is not bad at all. But there was something else he had to say first.
"Richie," he whispered.
"What?" Richie was down on his hands and knees, staring at him desperately."
"Don't call me Eds," he said, and smiled. He raised his left hand slowly and touched Richie's cheek. Richie was crying. "You know I...I..." Eddie closed his eyes, thinking of how to finish, and while he was still thinking it over he died.

So, what's that got to do with homosexuality? Well, not a lot. But, it sets things up for what a lot of readers kind of figured in the first place. It sets things up to show that Richie probably cared about Eddie more than he let on. He was the only one who, after setting him down, not only cried...but kissed Eddie. On the cheek, yeah, but it was a kiss.

!!!END SPOILER!!! You can begin reading again.

In this book there is only one female character as one of the 8 main characters. Beverly Marsh was really not all that important to the plot or anything else. She was there sometimes as a love interest, where all the boys in the Lucky 7 individually seemed to have some sort of crush on her (with, perhaps, the exception of Mike Hanlon -- the only black child of the bunch). Its important to note that this book jumps between the 50s and the 80s for its time period. The 50s weren't really that awesome as far as how women were viewed, but still. There's no excuse for some of the nonsense that is in this book.

The book and the movie are drastically different, and I'm speaking strictly about the book here. Beverly Marsh for most of the book has a thing for Bill Denbrough, the leader of their group. And he's got a thing for her. But, she's also sort of interested in Ben Hanscome. And he's REALLY gaga for her. And Richie Tozier sort of likes her, too. And she was showing interest in him at first as well (before she met Bill).

And, you know, at that point they're still really young kids and its okay, because they've never really experienced feelings like that before and its mostly just crushes and puppy love and nothing serious. Beverly also comes from a poor family, on the "wrong" side of town. Her father is a janitor at both the school she goes to and also the Derry Home Hospital, her mother is a waitress and they live in a not-so-impressive-looking apartment building. Her mother is hardly around, and her father is violent and has an obsession with the idea that if she has anything to do with boys at all she'll have sex with them and that that is BAD. And its implied that he might have sexual thoughts about her, though its never actually made much of or actually confirmed. Its just one of those undertones you get from Al Marsh. And her mother apparently is worried about that, because she asked Beverly at one point right out if her father had ever "touched" her.

Excerpt from Part 2, page 386, chapter 9:

Her mother looked back at her, her lips pressed together so tightly they almost weren't there. "You sure your dad wasn't angry with you last night?"
"No!"
"Bevvie, does he ever touch you?"
"What?" Beverly looked at her mother, totally perplexed. God, her father touched her every day. "I don't get what you--"
"Never mind," Elfrida said shortly. "Don't forget the trash. And if those windows are streaked, you won't need your father to give you the blue devil."

Al Marsh is a very strange man. This worry from her mother is not entirely unfounded. There are several incidences in the book where his actions towards his daughter are just plain odd. Sometimes, its a little more vague and when she isn't around, but it's easily noticed.

Excerpt from Part 2, page 379, chapter 9:

He did not drink, he did not smoke, he did not chase after women. I got all the women I need at home, he said on occasion, and when said it a peculiar secretive smile would cross his face--it not brighten it but did quite the opposite. Watching that smile was like watching the shadow of a cloud travel rapidly across a rocky field. They take care of me, and when they need it, I take care of them.

Excerpt from Part 2, page 869, chapter 19:

All the times he had scared her; all the times he had shamed her; all the times he had hurt her. "You just let me alone!"
"Don't talk to your daddy like that," he said, sounding startled.
"I didn't do what you're saying! I never did!"
"Maybe. Maybe not. I'm going to check and make sure. I know how. Take your pants off."

This is often a pattern I see with women in King's books. Most characters have currently or have had in the past a violent parent, usually a father. If its a girl, she's usually had some sort of sexual abuse or the fear was there, even if in the back of her mind, that she might be molested by her father at some point. Even if she never gives voice to it in those words.

Another bit of beef I have to take up with King in this book involving Beverly is just how useless she was. I only really ever saw her do anything actually useful once. And that was when they fought It the first time as a whole group. They did so on 29 Neibolt Street in their town of Derry. It was a run-down area that was largely abandoned. That house was also abandoned. She was the one that saved their asses that day. Sort of. Mostly. By shooting it with a silver slug they'd melted and made out of silver dollars (this process was described in great detail within the book and it was quite fascinating) while it was in the form of a werewolf. They only had two and she wasted one on nothing when she was startled by something in a cupboard...But, if she hadn't done what she did at that point, and then faked the monster out (with generous help from the boys on that faking out part) to make It think she had a third slug when she did not, they'd have all died in that house.

But, other than that, she did nothing useful whatsoever, except scream, and run around, and get chased by It, by school bullies, and by her father. And a few times she fell down.

Later in life, she is married to a real jerk who gets off on keeping tight control over her by use of beatings (sometimes with belts), emotional abuse, verbal abuse, and sexual abuse. Its opined by her that she married her father. Its opined by others in the book that she married the school bully, Henry Bowers, from whom they spent the summer running away from back in the 50s when they first learned of It's existance. But, really, its just more of the same from King when it comes to this. Women who are main characters, or at least important characters, often have violent husbands in his books.

And here I come to a fork in the road. There are two paths which are important that I want to take, and I don't know which one I want to go down first. But, I will get to both of them. I guess I'll start with the pregnancy issue.

For some reason in this book, and others that I've read from King, he uses the phrase, "catching pregnant," or "caught pregnant," to describe a woman who is...well...pregnant. As if its a cold or a disease that you catch. I find this repulsive. And, I have no idea where this phrase came from. I really don't think that its something he made up himself. I've heard it before, though rarely. I think I heard it in a movie or two before. I don't even remember which one, its just that that phrase is one that sticks with you when you hear it, you know? Its just so bizarre and ridiculous and offensive. I sort of want to write to him and ask him where he got that phrase, why he uses it, and if he is aware of the implications of using it. Its always used as such a cast-away phrasing, as if someone is just commenting on the weather or something. Its just that casual, even in print when its used. But, yet its so glaring.

Excerpt from Part 3, chapter 10, page 494:

"Anyway, Audra said it wuold be just our luck if she caught pregnantwhile we were in preproduction and she had to do ten weeks of strenuous acting and being morning-sick at the same time."

Pregnancy is not a disease, nor is it a common cold. Nor should pregnancy nor pregnant women be treated as if they have some sort of disease, cold, little tiny alien invader within themselves, or some other illness.

Moving on from this, though, is the last straw that I have to pick with this book that I can think of at the moment when it comes to women. And it contains another spoiler alert. This was something I did not see coming. Character death I foresaw, but THIS was not something I foresaw. Even when it was hinted at ONE time during the book. I just thought, "surely not" and moved on. Well, I was wrong! So, here is another warning.

!!!SPOILER ALERT!!! Do not read past this point.

When they are children in the 50s and they battle It in the sewers then, the first time they ever battle It there, and think they've won. Something very curious happens. Eddie was supposed to be able to lead them back out. He could not, which was odd. He was known for always knowing which way to go, even if he was unfamiliar with the terrain. HE knew how to get them to the lair in the first place. He led them there. Straight there. Now, he had no idea. They were all starting to get upset, anxious, and panicky. Nerves were wearing thin and they were snapping at each other. So, Beverly comes up with a plan to calm everyone down so that Eddie can think straight and get them out of there. What was this plan?

Well, let me say it was ridiculous and I gawked at the page for a while. She decided that, since her father was so obsessed with sex and her keeping her virginity and that his motivation must be that he wanted to keep any and all power out of her hands and sex was power, then she would be rebellious and take that power for herself and have sex. With all six of those boys. YES! All six of them, right then, in the sewer, where they were lost. She got down on her back, took off her pants, in the dark and on the wet floor, and had them all take turns with her, each one at a time. All of the boys seemed embarrassed and a bit unwilling at first, some more unwilling than others. They all needed at least a little bit of encouragement from her to actually get the job done, or even get started in the first place. She seemed a lot less embarrassed than the boys, from what I remember. It was just...odd, because she really lacked any sort of embarrassment at all, even any sort of self-consciousness or second thoughts.

Excerpt from Part 5, chapter 22, page 1036:

She feels powerful: she feels a sense of triumph rise up strongly within her. Is this what her father was afraid of? Well he might be! There was power in this act, all right, a chain-breaking power that was blood-deep. She feels no physical pleasure, but there is a kind of mental ecstacy in it for her. She senses the closeness.

That's where he attempts to make some belated sense of what is going on, I think. But, it falls far short.

It came out of absolute nowhere, and it didn't even belong in the book. It was like he changed everything else before sending it out to his publisher, but forgot to take out that ridiculous part about the sex. It was like it was just slipped in on the off chance a pedophile might want to read the book. These kids were all around 11. Or on the off chance there wasn't enough objectifying of girls as being around solely to be damsels-in-distress until a man is unsure what to do, then she lets him use her like a toilet to calm him down and get him thinking straight again. What the fucking hell is that??

Just thinking about it makes me angry, because there's no rhyme or reason for it that makes any sense! There were definitely sexual undertones and overtones throughout the entire book, but this here just took the cake. And the icing. And the plate it was sitting on. And the table, too! And not in a good way.

There's so much to say about it that I don't even know how to accurately describe it. I think even after a couple of months I'm still in shock over that random placement of weird, sexist, pedophile pandering...

!!!END SPOILER ALERT!!!
Also, I have to note that the one woman in the book who was billed specifically as a feminist seemed to have a distaste for men in general (which perpetuates the idea that all feminists hate all men or at least can't be bothered to respect men as fellow human beings and equals), but she was also more worried about her face than she was about the life and safety of her best friend when Beverly's husband threatened her if she did not tell him where Beverly had gone. She even states that that was what she was most worried about when she finally gave up the information she had; her face. This also perpetuates the idea that women are too concerned about our appearances to really worry about anything else that is of dire importance. Obviously, this woman's face not getting scarred up was a lot more important than her friend's life and well-being. I really hope that nobody ever entrusts her with important government secrets, because she wouldn't stand up to five seconds of torture. Especially if it included threats to her face.

Excerpt from Part 3, chapter 12, page 599:

Kay went upstairs and took another Valium. She lay down and waited for sleep. Sleep didn't come. I'm sorry, Bev, she thought, looking into the dark, floating on the dope. What he said about my face...I just couldn't stand that.

Yeah, well, at least its some consolation that she was feeling so guilty and disgusted with herself that she couldn't sleep? No. Not really a consolation at all.

Overall this was actually a good book, even though I did have a good deal to complain about. I would still recommend it for reading, but you should be aware that there will be things within it that will have you biting your tongue and not in a funny or cheeky way (although there's that, too). It goes through a lot of issues in the book, despite the problem with the portrayal of women. There's a great look at fat stigma and fat phobia, a look at racism and anti-semitism, anti-gay prejudice, and the objectification of women. But, there will be things that will make you stare at the book in outraged disbelief. It will definitely not be winning King any feminist awards for his portrayal of women and young girls anytime soon.

The Legend of Billie Jean (movie)

I know, this is supposed to be a book review site. And here I am reviewing a movie instead. Well, I wasn't going to do that! But, I thought it was an important movie, so I decided to write about it.

The Legend of Billie Jean, starring Helen Slater and Christian Slater is about a revolution of sorts. Billie Jean and her brother Binx, along with their friends Putter and Ophelia, never set out to start a revolution. They just wanted a fair shake, they wanted something owed to them, not because it was owed to them, but because it was fair that they should get it. It was the right thing to do to ask for it, and it would've been the right thing to do for the person who owed them to give it to them. But, that's not how it worked out.

What am I talking about? Well, the premise is basically that Billie Jean and her brother, Binx, have a run-in with some teenage jerks. Among them is the apparent leader, Hubie.

Hubie thinks he's all that and decides to show off to his friends and come onto Billie Jean in a way that is less of a come-on and more sexual harassment. Billie Jean refuses his advances, and her brother Binx throws a cup of ice cream in Hubie's face. This is what starts things off.

Hubie is feeling angry and humiliated, so while Binx and his sister are taking a swim and later relaxing on a raft, Hubie and his small gang of thugs show up and trash Binx's prized possession. A motor scooter that was bought with some of the insurance money left over from their father's death. Hubie and his pals steal the scooter, humiliate Binx and Billie Jean, and take off with it.

Figuring that Hubie will eventually return the scooter when he gets tired of being a jerk, they go home and wait. However, returning the scooter is NOT what is on Hubie's mind and Binx is young and impetuous. He can't just sit around and wait to find out what, if anything, they're going to do with that scooter. So, he leaves that evening to track down Hubie and his gang of morons and find his scooter and bring it home.

Billie Jean tries to get the police involved, for both her brother's safety and the safe return of the scooter. Unfortunately, the officer she speaks to pretty much tells her that boys will be boys and she's a pretty girl. So, in a way, its her fault. He was trying to show off to her, got humiliated, and now Hubie is just being a bit of a dick, but he'll come around. And he sends her home with his card.

However, as I mentioned, Hubie didn't intend to stop being a dick. What she finds when she gets home is a destroyed motor scooter and a very beaten up Binx.

Instead of going back to the police, however, she does something a little more gutsy. She gets an estimate on the scooter, on how much it will cost to fix it. Then she takes that estimate and goes to the store Hubie works at (which is owned by Hubie's father), and hands him the estimate, telling him she expects the money.

Naturally, Hubie is a jerk so he refuses. And he tries again to come onto her. She takes matters into her own hands this time, and knees him in the ground. While he's writhing on the floor, his father comes in and a couple of customers run out.

Instead of cowering or running away, Billie Jean stands up for herself and what's right with Hubie's father, too. Unfortunately, its quickly easy to tell where Hubie gets his attitude. The father pretty much runs Hubie out of the store, and at first it looks as if he's going to pay off the money for his son. But, no. He asks her to go upstairs, where he's got the money.

Billie Jean is aware that this is not kosher, but she goes up anyway. She really wants that money. Her family is not rich, they live in a trailer park and her mother is the sole breadwinner as far as I can tell. If this money is not repaid to them, they will never be able to fix Binx's scooter.

Naturally, I'm sure you can tell where this is going. Billie Jean finds herself being sexually assaulted by Hubie's father. However, she manages to get away before he can get anything done, and her brother and a couple of friends enter the store just as they were both running down the stairs.

Finding a gun, Binx attempts to come to his sister's rescue. Hubie enters the scene at this point, as well, but he refuses to do anything to help his father, simply because he doesn't know what to do about Binx having the gun. Convinced by Hubie's father that the gun must not be loaded, Binx examines it and it accidentally goes off, shooting Hubie's father in the shoulder. Hubie calls the police, and Billie Jean, Binx, and their friends get out of there and drive away as fast as they can.

Billie Jean is the obvious leader of this gang of misfits right from the start. She's the one that decides they're going to leave, she's the one that decides who goes with them and where they go and every move they make.

There is a lot of symbolism in this movie. I'm going to only talk about two pieces of symbolism. The first is Joan of Ark.

While they're in hiding, they have a chance to watch a movie about Joan of Ark. The scene the movie is on when they come into it is the scene where Joan of Ark is testifying on her own behalf, telling the people in attendance what she did and why she did it, and why she believes it was the right thing to do. This scene is followed by the burning of Joan of Ark at the stake.

This movie and Joan of Ark herself resonate heavily with Billie Jean. By this time, they've been on the run for a while and people are spreading vicious lies and rumors about her, Binx, and the two friends they're traveling with. But, because they're on the run and in hiding, more or less, they've never had any opportunity to speak for themselves or set the record straight. Its hard to do that when you can't let anyone know where you are.

However, she comes up with an idea. Getting a boy who is a new friend and new addition (and later a love interest of Billie Jean's) to their group, who is good with making movies to help out, she decides they will set the record straight. Their new friend will tape her doing just that. But, she wants to get ready first.

What she does is a little cringe-worthy. She had beautiful long blonde hair, but in the bathroom of the house they're camping out at, she cuts it off into a short crop cut. She changes her clothes so that she's dressed more like a boy than a girl. The effect is that she looks very androgynous and its a very good look for her. This is inspired by Joan of Ark. In the movie she watched, in the scenes she watched, Joan of Ark had short hair, and it was explained to her that this woman had dressed as a man to lead an army. And that she had won, even if she was later captured by the French and burned at the stake.

In effect, this movie takes Joan of Ark and brings her into the modern world. And it does so in a very inspiring way, and a way that many people, young and old, can relate to.

During the time they're on the run, this does start a bit of a revolution, as I mentioned. Many people, young and old (but we really only get to see the young people most of the time) begin to take sides. The majority seem to be on Billie Jean's side, though. Fair is fair, is her motto. They will turn themselves in, they know they've done something wrong even if it was an accident. But, fair is fair, they want the money owed to them in exchange for their giving themselves up.

Fair is fair becomes a rallying cry for the People in this movie. And, in fact, if not for the help of many people along the way, Billie Jean and her brother and their friends would not have gotten as far as they did without getting caught. Friends who are virtual strangers help them out of sticky situations. Many people ferry them around towns in their cars and on the backs of motorcycles, avoiding police and road blocks, to get them to where they need to go undetected, allowing them to stay at least one step ahead of the police at all times.

Now, that second bit of symbolism I wanted to address. Fire. At the end of the movie Billie Jean has a chance to confront Hubie's father face-to-face with a large crowd behind her, watching. Including Hubie, a dirty politician who had had it out for her, and the detective who had turned her away in the first place but ever since had been her biggest (and perhaps only) supporter in law enforcement.

This man, Hubie's father, Lloyd, has never come clean about what REALLY happened in the upstairs room that day, what he tried to do. But here it all comes out. He's been profiting off of Billie Jean, too. He's erected a large wooden (at least I think its wooden) statue of her to act as a sort of mascot and is selling all kinds of posters, pictures, and t-shirts with her image on them. They sell like hotcakes, of course.

Lloyd finally, after all this time, agrees to pay the money. He gives even more than she asked for, way more. But, by this time, its gone far beyond the point of the money. She doesn't want it anymore, especially not more than she had asked for. And she knows what this money really is. Its hush money. He sees the writing on the wall and he knows she has more power than he does now.

Billie Jean tells the truth about what happened, what he tried to do, the dirty things he'd said to her. The whole crowd hears it. Including Hubie. There's a small struggle, Lloyd wants the damage to be minimal, he insists she's lying, and during the struggle she knees him int he groin and shoves him down. When he fell, so did a lantern and it starts a small fire. While that's burning, she tells him where he can put his money and throws it in his face, then walks away. Hubie runs off, and does not answer his father's cries for help to save the remaining things from the fire. No one is hurt in this fire, unless you count Lloyd's pocketbook and reputation.

But, as the fire burns, all of the memorabilia Lloyd was using to profit off of Billie Jean goes up in flames. And, along with it the large wooden mascot that was the image of Billie Jean, dressed in her new Joan of Ark look, goes up in flames, too, falling atop the rest of the memorabilia, fueling the fire.

The fire represents many things, but I'm only going to mention a few. First, its an obvious reference to Joan of Ark's burning at the stake. Its also a reference to cleansing fire, righteous fire, and an ending and new beginning.

Throughout the fire, the theme of the movie is playing, Invincible by Pat Benatar.

This is a definite must-see movie for anyone who hasn't seen it. Its not overly long, its filled with symbolism and its just an overall important movie if you ask me. Its got great acting, a great soundtrack, and a great plot. The writing is good. Despite the fact that the movie is from the 1980s, it has a message that carries over even to today and is relevant to today's world and today's people, especially today's youth.

The Wedding Garden by Linda Goodnight

This is a Christian romance and part of a series called Redemption River. I must admit, I'm not Christian. So, its kind of odd that I would read this book, right? Well, to be quite honest, I didn't select this book myself. A snippet of this book, the prologue and first chapter, were sent to me in the mail, asking for my opinion on the book as a potential reader. So, I read the snippet and gave them my opinion, and as a reward they sent me this book and one other.

I have to say that I'm glad they did it. Just reading that first little bit of the book already had me wondering what was going to happen next. Not that I expected a lot of adventure, chaos and mayhem. I mean, it is a Christian romance. But, there was still that element of interest, nonetheless.

There was certainly an element of God and Jesus in the book, but to be honest it didn't seem to me like it permeated the entire thing. It didn't get in the way. Every other word wasn't about God or Christianity. So, that made it easier for me to read and probably lent to the interest of it. At least, for me.

There are many characters, and none of them are necessarily original. But, they still add to the book in a good way as per the way they were written. It flowed well, in other words.

Sloan Hawkins, the main character, the character the book was more or less about. He was dark and brooding, troubled. He had grown up in the town of Redemption. His father was a criminal who died in prison. His mother was a woman who was misunderstood and had a reputation as a slut and worked in a truck-stop diner. Her reputation was sullied because she would take drunk men to her home and let them sleep it off on her couch rather than drive around drunk. Nobody believed she wasn't actually sleeping with them, so naturally...rumors spread. Sloan is haunted by the fact that she just up and left one night, never to return. Nobody knew where she was, and apparently only Sloan ever thought it was weird that she left. Rumors were spread that she left in the middle of the night with a man she met at the diner, some trucker, and left Sloan all by himself.

Aunt Lydia, Sloan's ailing aunt who took care of him after his mother disappeared. She raised him from boyhood and though he had a troubled youth and eventually left town, he has always had a soft spot for his aunt. She is someone he respects and loves deeply. And she is the reason he came back to Redemption, after so long away, despite the fact that he hates the place and just about everyone in it.

Annie Markham, Sloan's high school sweetheart. She's harbored a lot of resentment and hate for Sloan since he left, but as we find out as the book steadily progresses, its understandable to a point. Annie is the police chief's daughter. She's kind, responsible and dependable. In the time that Sloan has been away, she's been married and divorced, she's had two children, and she is now Aunt Lydia's home-care nurse. She doesn't live there, but she spends quite a lot of time there caring for Lydia, seeing as the older woman lives alone. Although, now that Sloan is back the slack is taken off of Annie just a wee bit, but he's no nurse.

Chief Dooley Crawford, Annie's father, the police chief of Redemption. He has it out for Sloan. He threatened, blackmailed, and set Sloan up years ago so that he'd run off and leave Redemption, and leave his daughter alone. However, there was a much more secret and pressing reason that Chief Crawford made the decision to run Sloan out of town one way or another, and it had nothing to do with Annie.

Justin Markham, Annie's oldest child. He's a troubled boy, with a bad reputation around town as a troublemaker, who feels unwanted, unloved, a failure, and directionless. This is, in part, because his parents are divorced. He feels as if it might have been his fault, and he has a lot of anger and resentment over this, as well as anger and resentment at his father for leaving in the first place and leaving his mother and sister. The kids around town aren't too nice to him, either, and he gets into fights regularly. His grandfather, Chief Dooley, doesn't seem to pleased with the boy, for obvious reasons. And at 11, he's starting to get into that awkward stage anyway.

Ulysses "Popbottle" Jones is a character that I found quite endearing. Despite that, I might not have added him among the prominent characters, except for the fact that he plays a pretty significant role throughout the book, even though at first it might not seem so. He used to be a professor, but now he's among the downtrodden poor and hangs around with a dumpster diver named G.I. Jack. He's a very well spoken older gentleman, despite this, and has made many mistakes in his past. Among them was the love that he left behind in Redemption when he went to follow his own path, only to find out it wasn't what it had seemed nor what he really wanted.

These characters are all very endearing in their own way...well, except Chief Crawford, but I'm sure that was done on purpose. The book is well written and flows and progresses steadily and quite well. I definitely enjoyed it.

Gender roles are thick here, however, and impossible to miss. Men are stereotypically rugged, enigmatic creatures of habit or exasperation. Women are for the most part delicate, in need of protection and humoring from men, and so forth. These gender roles are there, and they are annoying, but they are not made a huge deal out of and it is muted in a way. And, considering that this is a Christian romance, it isn't all that surprising. I expected it, I was ready for that, so it didn't bother me as much as it might have if it had just sprung on me out of nowhere.

There really aren't too many places where this book lags for me. By the time you get to the last page of a chapter, each time there is something there that leaves you wondering. It really is a page turner.

Almost as soon as Sloan rides into town, he catches the Chief Dooley's attention. In fact, he catches everyone's attention. And he is aware of it. He has a severe disdain for the people of this town as a whole and he isn't interested in hiding it. Nor is anyone else apparently interested in waiting to spread rumors about why they think he might be back, why they think he left, and so on and so forth. Every town has its nosy old biddies, and Redemption is no exception.

Sloan's biggest irritation with the town seems to be the hypocrisy he perceives. Everyone is so big on Christianity, God, Jesus, church, family, love. But, at the same time as far as he can tell nobody really acts all that Christian. Spreading rumors, judging people, treating others like dirt...these are not Christian values. But, these are the things he remembers from the people of Redemption his entire life, things he remembers flung toward him, toward his mother even after she was gone and no longer there to defend herself, toward his father. He doesn't see much point in God, in Christianity. Why should he? What he's been shown of it is hypocrisy and rudeness, and mean-spiritedness.

Despite this Sloan is not an atheist. He is disenchanted with Christianity and God, he perhaps even harbors resentment toward the religion and its god, but that just shows he does believe in some sense. Then again, this is just my opinion of things. I don't feel that someone who is angry or feels resentment toward a deity could be considered an atheist, simply because if you are hating or resenting something you must believe that the entity exists.

At first, his return to Redemption doesn't do much to dispel these impressions of Christianity and God for him. And there isn't really a lot of emphasis put on it, either. Christianity and God are elements of this story, but they are not the centerpiece. And, I think this is because while most people who are Christian do center their life around their religion and their god, you don't hear God, Jesus, and Christian(ity) out of their mouths every other word. There are references to them, and to prayer, especially if something important (bad or good) is going on. But, for the most part people don't usually feel the need to talk about it all the time. And, I think that's what it was with this book. It was an aspect of the book, just like Christianity, God, and prayer are aspects of people lives, but it wasn't all there was to it. For me, that's one major thing that made this book readable.

Throughout the book, Annie and Sloan are the real main characters. The book really centers around them. Lydia was what brought Sloan back to town, and she's what keeps him there. And she's even the reason he finds God, but her role is actually pretty small as far as appearances go. I liked her and her death scene (there is no secret made from the beginning of this book that she is dying) was quite sad and I'll admit I shed a few tears.

Sloan's devotion to his aunt is actually very endearing. He's a skeptical person, a realist most of the time, a bit prideful, a typical bad boy, but with a heart of gold underneath. He's a good person who was dealt a bad hand and let it cloud his vision. But, his aunt appears to have been his brightest spot, one of his points of weakness. And the way he took her death was touching and endearing. His bedside inability to believe she was dying was more than touching. It wasn't the sort of throw-yourself-on-the-body-and-weep sort of moment you might expect out of dramatic moments in books or movies. No, instead he begged and bargained with her, if she lived he'd take her somewhere special. If she stayed with him, he'd do anything. This is actually one step of grieving.

I think all throughout the book until that point, Sloan knew she was dying but simply just refused to believe it. Everyone else, including Lydia, knew she was dying and had accepted it, though. In fact, that's why she was home instead of in a hospital. There was nothing that could be done for her aside from keeping her comfortable at this point, and her fondest wish was to be able to go home and die peacefully there. Which is exactly what she did.

Unfortunately, this happened RIGHT after (like the next day) Sloan found God. I must admit, I was actually wondering if he was going to decide he was angry at God again, but he didn't seem to do that. It wasn't until later in the book that this was addressed. He knew it would solve nothing, he'd already been down that road for other reasons before, and he knew that if his aunt Lydia could speak to him now she would not want him to forsake God again over her death. I like the maturity and the ability to self-examine himself and his feelings and situations that Sloan has throughout the book, even if some of it comes a bit later.

As for why this book is called The Wedding Garden. This book takes place in Redemption, as I mentioned, but a lot of it also takes place in or around the house of Sloan's aunt. This house had, for many...many years had a famous garden in the back that was so beautiful a lot of people wanted to have their weddings there. This garden is a very important aspect of the book. A lot of things center around this. One of Sloan's major goals in the book is to get that garden finished before his aunt died. And, even when that didn't happen, he kept on working the garden to restore its former glory. It had become run down because without Lydia, there was no one to tend the garden, anymore. She'd been too sick and weak to do it herself for quite some time.

This garden also supplied the venue for Sloan to get to know Annie's son, Justin. As I mentioned before, he is a troubled youth and Sloan knows something about troubled youths, as he used to be one. He saw that the boy was lacking structure, guidance and a male role model in his life and so he took it upon himself to try to help out. It was certainly a way to try to make peace with Annie, but he was also genuinely fond of the boy and genuinely wanted to help him work through whatever it was he needed to work through. To give him direction, something he had not had when he was a boy.

And, one of the first things this garden also does for Sloan, in a bit of a round-about way, is that it shows him that not everyone in the town of Redemption is against him or into spreading rumors. When he decided to start work on the garden, the first thing he did was stop by a plant farm/garden center to get supplies. He meets a woman there, Delores Miller, that he vaguely remembered from before he'd ever left. She treated him like a regular person, which was more than can be said for some other people he'd already encountered.

Speaking of that, it leads right up to something I want to talk about, because its one of my favorite aspects of Sloan Hawkins. He's got a caustic wit that he's not afraid to use, especially against nasty people who seek to hurt him. Take, for example, this excerpt from chapter 3, page 33:

"Say, you're Sloan Hawkins, aren't you? Clayton Hawkins's son?" she snapped her fingers as if trying to remember something. "And his wife -- what's her name? Worked over at the diner? Janie?"

Sloan skewered her with a dark glare. If she was trying to get a rise out of him by pretending ignorance, she was succeeding.

"Joni." he muttered through clenched teeth.

"That's right. Now I remember." Right. As if she'd actually forgotten. "She's the one that ran off with that trucker, wasn't she? Sure was a crazy thing to do, leaving you behind and all. Did you ever hear from her again?"

Never let 'em see you sweat.

With a cocky grin he didn't feel, Sloan leaned in and imitated her tone. "Say, aren't you the mom of that mean little creep, Ronnie? And isn't that your broom parked by the curb outside?"

Roberta jerked back, face flushing bright red. "Well, I never!"

Sloan showed his teeth in a feral smile. "Now you have."

I have to say that when I was reading that, especially those last two lines, I had to grin. I know people like Roberta and they always think they're so cute. I love it when someone has a great way to confidently give them a taste of their own medicine. Unfortunately, they generally don't learn their lessons.

And, just for context's sake, I would like to mention who Ronnie is. Sloan did not just poke a jab at that woman's son for no reason just to get at her. Ronnie is a little boy that goes to school with Justin and he had been making fun of Annie one day. It got Justin riled up, they got into a fight, and Justin got into trouble. Nobody knew exactly what had caused the fight, because Justin refused to tell. Even refused to tell his mother. However, he did tell Sloan upon a bit of coaxing. I suppose that despite this, the jab at the boy was not really necessary. It was a bit uncalled for. The boy kid is obviously learning bad manners and habits from his mother and repeating the nasty things she says. But, I think, in a way, Sloan was kind of killing two birds with one stone. He was getting back at Roberta for trying to hurt him and he was getting back at her for teaching her son it was okay to pick on other people. Too bad Roberta probably didn't take the hint and try to adjust her behavior.

Chief Dooley makes it his mission throughout the book to try to run Sloan out of town again. Except, this time, Sloan is no longer a kid without direction or confidence in himself. This time, Sloan will not be pushed or run out of anywhere until he is ready to be, regardless of how much he dislikes the town and most of its people. However, the twist in the book has everything to do with Chief Dooley, Joni Hawkins, and what REALLY happened the night she disappeared.

At this point I would really love to get into the nitty gritty of it all, but it makes the best twist of the book and I don't want to spoil it for anyone who might want to read it.

Long story short (yeah right, look at the length of this thing already!), Sloan inevitably finishes most of the garden and decides to stay once he and Annie put their differences aside and realize they still have feelings for each other. Especially after the truth comes out about Chief Dooley, and the night Sloan ran off.

You might think I've just spoiled the book, after all! But, oh...nay, I say. There are a few other plot twists I didn't mention, some of them predictable, and some of them not. And they're all pretty good and they all make the book. The characters in this book, especially Sloan, are memorable even if they aren't completely original. They have a sense of reality to them, they could easily be real people that you might meet one day. Even Sloan.

I like that about this book. While it is fiction and it is romance, its not dirty. Its not a bodice ripper, and it doesn't need to be. It stands alone and is a great book without the dirt. Its a great book without having to embellish the characters or their dialogue so much that they sound fake or strange or silly.

Its definitely a nice change from the usual romance books I read. I like this book and I definitely recommend it to anyone who has the time to sit down and read it. I don't think you'll be disappointed with it.